30 Day Blog Challenge Day 08: A Moment You Felt The Most Satisfied With Your Life

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Day 08: A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life

Day 8 already? Wow, that was fast. So here goes.

I try my best each day to be contented with my life and remain excited for what else is yet to come down the road. I tend to look at the past and sometimes have moments of “I wish I did this or that” but as they say, we can’t do anything with what happened. What’s important is to take the lessons learned with us moving forward.

And so, generally, I am contented with my life except when I try to imagine all the worst things that could happen in the future hehehe. Yes, I’m creating my own nightmare sometimes, which is not so good really, because it becomes draining when you’re not careful.

Anyhow, to answer the question though, what comes to mind right now is December 2015. It is because that was the first holiday without both parents. Prior that, I had a slight fear that maybe we’ll all lose connection to our parents’ immediate family now that they’re both gone. But of course the Lord, with His endless blessings, surprised me again. There were many events during the holidays that gave me the chance to reconnect with family and friends. My cousin (mother’s niece) got married, and she graciously extended the invite to me even if we only had few interactions in the past. I and my nieces, together with some relatives, travelled all the way to Tagaytay to spend a few days with my brother’s family. We also spent a day in Manila. My tita and some of their kids spent New Year with us and some of Mama’s siblings still came to our house for New Year’s lunch, like they used to when my mom was still alive. All these were documented in my first weekly recap where I had to do it in 3 parts hehe. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

My childhood friend got married in January and her siblings organized a bridal shower for her. Our other childhood friend was there too and it was fun reminiscing all those years when we were kids and see how we’ve all evolved. Her wedding day was an opportunity for me to get reacquainted with people in my past, where in most of them were our parents friends. It was good to be surrounded by all of them.

Because of all those events, I thought then and still think that everything will be alright for all of us. With the Lord’s guidance, everything will be fine even if there are bumps along the way.

2016 Week 38 Recap: The Good and The Bad

September 19-25, 2016

The Good

My boss approved most of my recommended usage of the extra hours I’ve incurred in the past, totaling to 13.5 days, except for 1. It’t tentative. So yes, my November and December leaves are covered. Yey for that!

The Bad

There were a lot of questions regarding the system we deployed last September 16. I was expecting that so it was fine. I have asked the team to do a weekend support. Not the entire day but at least 4 hours each day, and we start at 5 PM so that at least we still have most of the day to ourselves. More workload but nothing that can’t be handled.

What went wrong?

Unfortunately, we discovered an issue with the scheduling system. It was the worst issue that I have handled to date. While we know how to fix it, I cannot give a solid recommendation on how to handle those that were affected. It has impact to their pay. And with how the system currently behaves, we cannot extract a report that would say, yes this needs adjustment. There were a lot of uncertainties too. Before I went for a nap on Sunday morning, I was confident of the recommendation. When I woke up 4 hours after, I had doubts again and wanted to go another route. It was a long process of discussion before we were able to come up with a sane and final recommendation.

As for the fix, we have deployed it last Monday.

What else went wrong?

Bad behaviors. It concerns colleagues. It’s not even about the workload. I don’t give up on workload. I tried to understand that everyone was stressed replying to concerns since Wednesday so whatever disagreements about approaches and whatever hints of bitchiness thrown to me, I all tagged them as part of work and so I adjusted my approach, and extended my patience in waiting for resolutions. But maybe it all piled up, and eventually, I broke down on Sunday. I cried for about 5 minutes, during a conference call. I was on mute. I’m sure my neighbors heard me. When my boss was calling on me, I sent her a private message and told her to please allow me to break down for a while. She told me to not lose it. I won’t be able to think straight if I had emotional baggage. I didn’t care. I needed to let it out. I felt offended and disrespected. All the grudges I’ve been brushing off came back to me. I cried some more.

When I was calmer, I went back to the call and we started discussing the issue. And discussed we did until we had a solid plan by 9 PM. I was asked who discovered the issue. I told the boss me and another colleague. The first finding issued by another colleague was wrong. I was able to double check that already with HR. Laglagan na. Straightforward answers to straightforward questions.

At 8 PM, a friend was asking if I wanted to go out to unwind. I said yes. The ball was with the Dev team from 9 PM to 12 AM. I told them I was stepping out. It was the first time I did this. In the past, while waiting for them to complete their tasks, I just stayed with them in the call in case they had questions. Not this time. NO. While waiting for my friend’s text of her location, I was listening to their conversation (I did not drop off the conference call). I started getting headaches. Mali-mali ang mga pinagsasabi when in fact, we’ve discussed all those things in the past hours. Why???? Nakakainit ng ulo. I didn’t bother to correct them anymore. The other colleague who I trust stepped out a bit but he’ll be back while I’m gone so I know it will be fine.

I said I was coming back at 12 AM. Pero umiinom pa ako non. Deadma. I was back at 1 AM. Not even 5 minutes have passed pero napamura na naman ako sa frustration and disappointment. There were erroneous details that I needed to point out, details that should have been handled by the technical lead. Yamot. I could just leave it at that, but it will just be a problem anyway so I just corrected those.

When all things have been ironed out and I was satisfied that everything will be ok come implementation, I sent that email to my boss. I have composed that email in my mind since Sunday, few minutes after 3 PM, while I was crying out of frustration. Sending that was a relief. I don’t care if I don’t get a reply. What’s important to me is I was able to express my frustrations.

I skipped mass on Sunday. I knew I would say bad words later on in the day so parang ang ipokrita ko lang pag ganon. I just silently said my prayers and asked for forgiveness for missing my Sunday obligation.

Another the good

My friend and I went to Tipsy Pig Gastopub in Capitol Commons. Eto nakakatawang kwento. Ang lakas kong magyayang uminom pero di ko nacheck laman ng wallet ko. Sabi ko lang sa friend ko, don na lang kami sa nag-aaccept ng credit card para sure. Eh pa-order na kami sa Tipsy Pig bago nila sabihing offline sila. Grrr! So my friend and I computed our combined cash. Medyo nakakahiya! Hahaha. But deadma. Gusto namin pa rin uminom. We ordered one main meal, one appetizer, then 2 drinks each. Gusto ko pa nga ng more eh. Ang daldal ko lang kaya ang bagal kong uminom hahaha. Plus, ayun nga, the cash issue. When the bill came, halos magkasya naman yung laman ng wallet ko. May utang ako sa friend kong 20 petots pero ok na raw. Hahaha!

Getting tipsy at Tipsy Pig :-P

Getting tipsy at Tipsy Pig hehehe

My friend told me na that might be the last time we’ll see each other. She’s processing her fiance visa. Bigla akong napasigaw ng NO! Susko nagulat ako. Pero no talaga! Kailangan nyang magpakita bago sya uli umalis, tentatively in November. Huhuhu. I’ll miss her. But I’m happy for her. She said she has so many worries right now, one, what if it didn’t work out with her boyfriend. But I told her, it looks like it is meant to be. Because if it isn’t meant to be, the petition made to the US government should not have been approved in the first place. I’m praying for her. This is what she really wants. And comparing it with the last relationship she had 2 years ago, she’s more sure with this now. So I know it will all work out fine for them.

Ok. It’s the mid-week. Hope you have better days for the rest of the week. As for me, I’m looking forward to the weekend. I’m on offset on Monday and Tuesday and hopefully, there will be no more issues to haunt me during those days. Can’t wait to turn off my work phone. I need to see my nieces. I haven’t seen them in a long time!!!!

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