I Miss My Kinder Self

Yes. I know I am kinder years ago as compared to now. It may be because of some frustrations I experienced as an adult that led me to being less kind. But I miss the kind me. I know it is still there, waiting to be unlocked again. The struggle is real though. But I still try by doing mostly these:

  1. Everyday, I remind myself to be kind. I remind myself that being kind to EVERYONE is better than being nasty.
  2. When I get frustrated, I excuse myself for a quick bio break. The walk to and from the restroom helps a bit in calming me down.
  3. When I know I would not be kind during a discussion or a meeting, especially the unscheduled ones, I request that we talk after 10 or 15 minutes. This gives me enough time to collect and remind myself to just keep calm.
  4. I ask God to intervene. Not ask actually. I plead Him to intervene.
  5. When my thoughts go towards the negative, I force myself to stop thinking negatively and again remind myself to be kind.
  6. I think of all my blessings and automatically, I feel grateful for everything, even the things that I know I don’t deserve but was still given to me.

It is hard to be kind. It is one of my daily battles. Or maybe it is actually easy. It is just hard to practice it all the time especially on unfavorable circumstances. But we must still always try to practice kindness.

Random Thoughts #3

  1. Until now, hindi ko pa naliligpit ang Christmas tree ko at mga gifts hehehe. Paabutin ko na lang kaya ng Chinese New Year? Hehehe. Ginawa ko kasing Pasig-QC lang ang Manila-Baguio for the past 4 weeks.
  2. Kailangan ko na talagang tigilan muna ang bumiyahe. Nagbabadya na naman ang cough and colds. It maybe because of the colder Baguio weather last weekend. So wala na talaga ang 10k steps ko for January.
  3. Dami pa ring umaakyat sa Baguio. I’m sure especially in the coming days.
  4. Gusto ko na ng car – Toyota Innova 2.5 E Dsl A/T
  5. Ang sarap talaga ng Ube jam. Niloloko ko yung friend kong malapit ko nang buksan yung pinabili nya hahaha. Sarap eh. And akalain mo yun, pumayag akong bilhan sila hahaha. Usually, I don’t take orders kasi mabigat. Marami nang nagpapabili ng walis tambo pero ayaw ko talaga. Hassle i-byahe eh hahaha.
  6. Dami ko nang backlog of blogs to read….
  7. Na-addict na naman ako sa mga Bejewelled-type games. Nakaka-ubos ng oras. Need to stop and become more productive.
  8. Kailangan ko nang maisulat ang aking 2016 goals…
  9. Excited na ako sa birthday ko at nya…sana the universe will conspire with me with what I want to happen. Simple lang naman, nothing outrageous.
  10. Annual evaluations na naman. Ano na naman kaya ilalagay ko? :p

Random Thoughts #2

  1. What a waste of time when you need to resolve something just because the one who did it the first time was not diligent enough to ensure that all information are correct prior to sending her request. What’s worse is that when you ask her to correct it, she does not respond back right away. Nakakaubos ng oras, pasensya at focus sa ibang bagay.
    2. Sobrang nafrustrate ako sa nangyari last week. 30 minutes before a client meeting, saka ko lang nalamang may conflict in resources at yung project ko yung imo-move. Buti nagcheck ako ng email on the way to work. Nagpanic at narattle talaga ako kasi sobrang ura-urada naman. Three minutes before the call started, I asked my teammate to gather everyone in the call first. Ako, step out saglit at naghabol ng iyak ng kahit 2 minutes lang, otherwise, sabog ako sa discussion. Ayun, I also sent a feedback email to my boss expressing my frustration. Akala ko nga wala na akong work the following day eh hahaha. Meron pa rin naman. I just had to do that because I really felt we failed as a team to coordinate that time.
    3. Been thinking of growing back my original curly hair since last month. I am more convinced this time so ok, no more rebond session in 2016. Kiber na sa bad hair days at mahangin sa labas moments hehe.
    4. Gusto ko makita yung super moon kagabi. Nilagay ko pa yun sa calendar ko. Kaso mostly ng articles na nabasa ko, hindi daw makikita sa Pinas. Olats.
    5. Mas malaki pa rin daw than normal yung buwan tonight. Kaso cloudy naman, umaambon-ambon pa. Olats uli. Tumingala ako bago pumasok sa boarding house, ayun nga, natatakpan ng mighty clouds. Better luck next time.
    6. Di ako updated sa AlDub. No comment din. O wag nyo ako kuyugin, nagtitipid ako ng kuryente kaya di ko na binubuksan TV ko.
    7. Nung lumpiat kami ng office sa QC, balak kong mag commute sana pauwi. Mid shift ako. The first time na inattempt ko, na slash bag ko. Last week, pinag-iisipan ko uli para makatipid. Na hold up teammate ko. With matching tutok ng baril. Atras na uli sa balak ko. Tipid tipid na lang sa ibang bagay.
    8. Nung narealize kong halos same lang ang rate ng taxi at Uberx, Uberx na ang choice of ride ko kasi: generally mas pleasant ang mga drivers, di na ako maiinis sa mga nagrerequest ng dagdag na akala mo ang layo-layo ng paghahatiran sa akin, straight charge sa card so di na ako makukunsumi sa pagprepare ng change, at bago pa lahat halos ng mga sasakyan. Pero ang pinakatotoo nyan, gusto ko maexperience makasakay sa iba-ibang cars para may idea ako sa “feel” nila at di na ako mahirapan should I decide to finally buy a car hehehe. Meron na akong na-eliminate actually hehe. Sana makasakay ako sa Suzuki Ertiga. I’d like to check if spacious talaga and if di bumpy.
    9. First undas ng tatay ko sa November 1. Need to go home. Baka magtampo eh. Syempre iba daw ang undas sa anniversary nya hehe.
    10. Ilang days na lang ’til Christmas. No solid Christmas and New Year plans yet.

Of Online Gigs and Work at Home Thoughts

Thoughts of doing online gigs have been swirling in my mind lately. I can’t help but imagine myself transitioning from a corporate adventurer to a work at home diva sometime in the future. To push things further, I just saw a blog sharing about a Work at Home (WAH) Expo 2015 happening this weekend haha.

And if ever I want to go that route, I think I need to somehow build an online presence. So, I have decided to make more effort in updating this blog at least once or twice a week hehe. It might be quite a challenge because most days are just work and home for me but let’s see. Maybe I would eventually be inspired to inject some other activities in between hehe. However, I would still like to keep it personal so that I won’t be pressured to write or share things that I’m not comfortable about sharing. Let’s see how far this goes. And since it is still a personal blog, it will contain different topics. I don’t think I am ready to shift to a niche blog just yet.

Happy Thursday!

Random Thoughts #1

  • Buti naman at ayon sa latest news, humina na si Typhoon Ruby. Akala ko nung una, Ruby ang international name at Hagupit ang local name. Napaisip tuloy ako if talagang nasa letter H pa rin ba to think na December na. Ayun, boom mali! :p
  • Naiwan ko ang payong ko sa taxi. Paano kaya ako makakapasok bukas kung maulan pa rin? Di rin pwede WFH kasi may face-to-face meeting naman. Olats.
  • Pumepetiks na naman ako for school. Still need to complete 2 final exams and 1 reaction paper. Masyado akong nastress sa isang project that we reported last Thursday kaya sabi ko break muna sa school work. Kaso nawiwili na nyahaha. Ok, bukas gagawin ko na yung 2.
  • Buti na lang take home na yung 2 exams. Ayaw ko na pumasok talaga with the traffic and all.
  • Gusto kong magregalo sa mga batang mga pamangkin. Kaso ayaw kong makipagsiksikan sa mga tao everywhere! Nakaka-stress. Tanders na haha. Sa Baguio na lang siguro ako bibili.
  • Di na ako mag-aattend ng year end party. Stressful din sya kesa fun eh hehehe. First time ko naman umabsent eh. Keri na.
  • Tuwing bagyo na lang, maraming nawawalan ng kuryente dahil sa mga nasisirang lines. Bakit kaya hindi nila iupdate ang technology in electrical lines? Di ba pwedeng ibaon na lang ang mga wires? HK did it. Other countries did it.
  • Bakit ba ang haba-haba pa rin ng commercials kahit gabi na? Dapat minimal na pag news programs!
  • Either hindi na ipapalabas ang On The Money or super delayed lang dahil sa Typhoon Ruby reports na nasisingit sa regular programs every now and then.
  • Di pa final ang Christmas and New Year plans ko. Nakakatamad magbyahe sa totoo lang. Mukmok na lang kaya ako sa bahay? Ay kaso may study session pala kami ng kapatid ko.
  • Next year, gusto kong mag-new year sa ibang bansa. San kaya?
  • Di pa ako nakakapagdraft ng “rules” ko sa pagpapa-aral sa pamangkin ko. Susko totoo ba ‘to? Wala pa man akong anak, magpapa-college na ako?! Nooooo!!! Chos! Pero naku!!!! Pag etong pamangkin ko, hindi pa tumino, ewan ko na lang! Last chance na nya ‘to. Sakit sa ulo. Kay agang naglaro, ayun tuloy, nadagdagan apo ko hmp!
  • Anong petsa na, hindi ko pa rin tapos ang tinetest ko. Ang kulit-kulit din ng katrabaho kong consultant. Sinabi na nung unang panahon pa ang requirement pero hindi nya ginawa. At katangahan ko rin na di ko na-explain sa kanya agad kung bakit ganong data ang kailangan at hindi yung ginawa nya. Now cramming. Toinks!
  • Nakakamiss ang BCWMH. Ang tanging series na pinanood ko from start to finish!
  • 17 days to go na lang pala before Christmas. May nagsabi ng Dyos ko Lord na newscaster hahaha! Pero naiimagine ko yung kanya as “juicecolored”, yung mga uso ngayon, tulad din ng “whogoat” para sa hugot hahaha. Kung sino man may pakulo ng mga yan, bilib ako sa mga utak nyo!
  • Talkback, overtime ka na! Asan na On The Money?! O sya, mukhang wala na talaga. Keri.

Brain Dump

My brain is starting to freeze with all this researching and writing for our Sector study (a requirement in one of my classes), hence, this quick break to write about random things.

  • I haven’t seen my favorite anonymous family during the mass this morning. I wonder if they changed schedule. I was used to seeing them and usually sit behind them in the morning mass. I just love seeing them especially the brother who is so caring to his siblings. Peg family.
  • There is a 3-day sale going on in Megamall, so I was trying to stay as far away from it as possible. It’s not because I might impulsively shop again. I’ve had my fair share of being one but generally, I just shop when I need something. I just don’t like to be squeezed in between too many people. However, I need some groceries and I need a blazer for this Thursday’s group report. I don’t need it at work so I never bothered to buy one before. Anyway, I went straight to the mall right after mass and surprise! There were already a lot of people waiting for the department stores to open. Arrived there 10 minutes before opening so we had to wait for a few more minutes. Unfortunately for me, no blazer at 50% off but good enough that the one I bought has a 10% discount, and it’s made by one of my more favored brands.
  • I have been searching for closed shoes for the office for more than 3 months now but I just can’t find anything that says “buy me! buy me!” My current pair is on the verge of retirement. The sole is already thin that sometimes I feel the pavement when walking hehe. Hopefully, before it totally gives way, I already have a new pair.
  • From the news minutes ago, I have confirmed that some scenes of Forevermore, a new teleserye by ABS-CBN which will be aired soon, are shot in Baguio, specifically near our place. I had an inkling when I first saw the trailer, then a cousin posted her pictures with the cast staying in their lodge. Ok, I may watch that because I’m interested to see how our place looks like on TV haha!
  • I want an Ipod just so I have something to listen to while on my way to work. Our team was transferred to another building, farther from where I leave. I just feel it’s a waste of time doing nothing while waiting for the trains or just seating in jeepneys weaving through the traffic. I’m thinking of making this a reward to myself IF I am able to do a challenge for 21 days hehe. PUSH.
  • I should really start updating my resume. It’s been years since the last time I did it.
  • I am having lots of pimples for the past weeks. I think it started since we transferred to another site. It’s a longer travel time hence, more pollution to catch. Bring us back to Manda please!
  • Sometimes, I want to drop one of my subjects. Work has been more stressful lately and I’m having a hard time juggling. Funny thing was, another classmate is thinking of doing it too. But then, we all agreed that it’s really a waste of money and that we’ll still go through the same thing the next time we enroll in the class again, so better not prolong the agony and finish it now. Oh well.

And now, I need to go back to that paper while there’s still time left this Sunday.

Happiness and Sadness

Vice Ganda shared his realization recently. In their show It’s Showtime, they always encourage their audience to be happy and to stay positive. However, with the events in his personal life lately, he realized that it is ok to feel sad, that it is okay to cry and be angry. But after that moment, we should find the courage and the reason to be happy again.

So today, I’m allowing myself to feel disappointed and frustrated with how things are currently at work. Unfortunately, I’m not getting what I need, there is no direction for one of the projects, there are a lot of people to talk to but I feel that there is communication gap and that they don’t really make an effort to understand what I’m asking them. And then I’m just so demotivated to rectify these situations. Mostly, my reaction is to feel bad and frustrated instead of staying objective like what I usually do in the past. Hopefully though, this feeling will be over in the coming days.

Blabbering

I’m supposed to go home tonight but Mama texted a few minutes ago telling me to just cancel my trip because of the bad weather. Not safe to travel.

*****
Deployment of the project was cancelled and for the past weeks, we revisited the requirements and now doing some changes. Sigh. Now, I’m just looking forward to the time when we can finally deploy it.

*****
Coron trip is in less than two weeks. We’ve impulsively changed our trip schedule two nights ago to accommodate our preferred IT. We’ll be traveling with another group and their proposed IT lacks some places that we want to visit, thus we added some stuff for our group. It was a blessing in disguise that Cebu Pacific changed their flight schedule (they moved it to 40 minutes later) so that when we inquired about changing our schedule, they did it without any additional charges. Weee! Our changes? We’re traveling on the 18th – first flight instead of the 19th and we’re leaving Coron on the 22nd – last flight :D. Err…hello kaitiman hihihi.

My dilemma right now is the things I need to bring. I haven’t been to places this year so I’m not used to packing things again wehehe. Although I promised myself to pack earlier and not the night before, we’ll see about that this weekend.

*****
How I wish I have even a little of creativity in me. Hay. In colors alone, there are so many to choose from. So which goes with which? Amp. And when doing selections, why do we have to be presented with many options? Can’t we just have black or white, A or B, 1 or 2, true or false? But then again, where’s the fun in that? Hehehe.

*****
Ok. Enough blabber. See you when I see you.

Anything Under the Sun

Anything goes. Just randomly listing.
  • PMP time. We were given the option whether to use the tool or the Excel template. I opted to use the tool. So far, I did not have any problems on latency. Maybe because only a few are using it and majority is using the Excel template hehehe. I’m done with 2, 7 more to go.
  • My own PMP is long overdue. Sayang ang January increase huhu.
  • First time to do goal setting for the team. What’s a goal setting template?! This is so alien to me.
  • TAMS Upgrade Phase 1 deployment. Bakit ba napakailap mo sa amin? Hanggang deployment, pinapahirapan mo kami. Sana naman sa generation, hindi na.
  • Have been working since Jan. 1. Up to this day, only 2 work-free days so far.
  • My brother is leaving again on the 29th. Paano na ang project? Hmmm.
  • I need IDs (e.g. TIN, SSS, NBI). What’s the easiest to get?
  • So sleepy. Already headbanging. I’ll be very careful not to hit my laptop hehe.
  • Call time later – 1 PM…but we’re still here.
  • Lie low muna sa Outdoor. Schedule conflict.
  • New term. Che che – meaning kain. Not sure where it originated. I just learned that from Outdoor friends hehe.
  • Pack up, go home, hit the bed. Be back later.

Randomness

Three days to go ‘til Christmas!

I was in the office last Saturday. The last time I remembered going to work on a Saturday was 3 years ago. That long hehe.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to take the straight leave this holiday. Fortunately though, I still have a 4-day break (from Dec. 25-28). I’ll be going home early 25th. I don’t want to spend Christmas on the way home so I’ve asked Anne to adopt me for the Noche Buena hehehe.

New term: asaness. Hahaha.

Most parties are completed (Year end, IS & IT, IS APAC). One more is scheduled on the 28th. I’m not sure if I’d be able to attend. I’m still at home at that time and I want to stay home longer.

I was lucky with cash prices this year as observed by our director. I earned a total of P3, 700 (1K cash, the rest GC). It’s from game winnings and raffles. I spent the cash on the same night I won it wahahaha. Well, I actually spent it for the team. :p

No specific wish lists this year.

Last year, I was so excited about 2008. I felt that so many things will happen this year. This time, I don’t feel that way for 2009. Maybe because I already know that for the most part of 2009, I’ll be very busy (busier than ever) with work.

Once during my “me” time, it crossed my mind that it’s nice to get married on 12-12-12. Hahaha.

There are so many things that need to be done at home but I’m just so lazy to do it wahahaha. That’s where the cookie crumbles.

My replacement for my old post has been hired and he’s already on board. I’m glad. I was able to offload some tasks already. But I still need to replace some more!

There are 3 people left that I have to shop for. For family, it will all be in Baguio.

I haven’t scheduled meet ups with Baguio friends yet. I’ll just wait ‘til I’m at home. I may be too lazy to go out anyway. I actually like to spend my break to really rest and relax. It means that I’m not bringing home my laptop and I won’t bother myself with work. :p

Merry Christmas everyone!

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